Never Again
by Cloudwatchers
Summary: He use to call her that all the time. He couldn't now. He couldn't bring himself to. It would hurt too much. Reminding him of what he could have said all those times before. Now every chance he might have had was taken from him forever.


Hey people, for those who have read other stories, I know, this wasn't exactly what you wanted me to update, but at least I'm getting something up. Anyway, heres a little one-shot to tide you over until I get my ass in gear to type up the next chapters to all of those other stories.

Disclamer: Do I honestly look like someone wh has the kind of money to own Naruto? Besides, if I did, I wouldn't be writting all of these fanfictions

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No, never again would he say it.

Never again **could** he say it.

It would hurt too much, reminding him of what he should have said, what he could have said all those times, instead of that pathetic nickname he had given her, that got him in trouble all the time, but he had still called her that.

He visibly flinched in the rain, hearing his own mocking voice, almost like the rain was repeating his own, ignorant words.

"_Hello, Hag, still wasting your time? You really should just give up on him, he's never going to come back, just because you cry."_

He flinched again, the words echoing through his head as he stared at the stone, much like she used to.

"_It's called respect, you asshole!!!" _

She had yelled so angerly tears leaking out of her eyes.

"_Respect for what, a dead body?"_

His ignorant, uncaring words were still imprinted in his mind.

"_Respect for a life lost! Not even you could be that thick!"_

She had turned by then anger in every feature.

"_If the life is gone, then it is of no importance anymore"_

He wanted to punch himself, why was he so stupid back then? He had been so confused then, not understanding her anger.

"_You...you really don't understand, do you?"_

Her emotions had changed rapidly, her face now sad instead of angry. He didn't understand what she meant.

"_What are you talking about?"_

He had been so clueless, it was pathetic.

"_No you don't understand, but you used to didn't you, when you had been younger..."_

He had stared at her so cluelessly, what could she have been talking about, he barely remembered his childhood.

"_Sai, when someone dies, and they were precious to you, you do things for them, even though they're gone, so the memory of them wont fade away."_

_'**So the memory doesn't fade away...But wasn't it better to forget things? So they couldn't hurt you anymore?**'_

"_Even though...Even though sometimes, the memories can hurt, there are more that can heal...maybe you have forgotten, but...no matter what has happened, you should always remember"_

She ad left then, leaving him in a state of utter confusion.

He choked, remembering how she had dragged him everywhere, determined to uncover all of his lost emotions.

A warm, wetness that her knew didn't come from the rain, slid down his cheeks.

He was crying. He almost laughed at it. He could remember the first time he cried. The tears had been for her, how appropriate that they fall only for her, now.

_Laughter..._

He could remember the first time he laughed, truly laughed. It had been with her. She had made him laugh hard enough to cause stitches in his sides.

She had smiled triumphantly, proud to get him to laugh, even if it had been at her own expense. She had tripped and the soft drink she had been carrying, spilled down her front. The squeaking sound had been just too funny and the disgruntled glare with the stained garments had only added to the effect.

Slowly but surely, she uncovered his long forgotten emotions. Anger, happiness, she had found them all and wrenched them to the surface.

Anger and frustration had been the first she dragged to the surface. It was their first mission together, just the two of them sent on a scouting mission.

She was angry, because he refused to call her anything other than 'Ugly' or 'Hag'. He decided to show her what real beauty was, drawing the perfect flower.

When he was done, he showed it to her, almost smug, because he knew there was no way she could find anything wrong with it, and told her so.

Her brow furrowed, and she starred at the ink drawing and looked as if she was desperately trying to find some flaw in his work.

Suddenly, she smiled wickedly.

"_Your wrong, Sai. There is a flaw in you picture, but can you see it?" _her smile only became even more wicked as he became more and more frustrated. Of course there was no flaw in his drawing, it was perfect!

"_Ahahaha, you cant see it can you? Fine, I'll give you a hint. Go **find **a flower like that. I bet you anything that you wont find one."_

He frowned. Who cared if you couldn't find a perfect flower. She was laughing at him again.

"_You really are thick aren't you? Theres no way to find a perfect flower, and that is the flaw- its perfect. To be perfect is to not have any flaws. To have flaws is to be perfect. Get it?"_

He just stared at her. She laughed again, and he felt his anger rising. Damn, she was so annoying!

It wasn't until much later that he understood what she meant.

He choked again on his tears. How appropriate, that he should cry here. He could only remember crying once before, and that had been for her.

The sound village had attacked, and of course, they were defending the village. They rain was pouring down in buckets while he was fending off a squad, when he realized how in over his head he was. They weren't as pathetic as the first groups, and now he was seriously screwed.

A sword flashed in the grey sky, accompanied by a flash of pink. Well, it was obvious who had come to help him.

What he didn't see, what she had, was what had caused those first tears.

A ninja had moved up behind him, and was readying to impale him. Sakura landed between him and the ninja. It wasn't he katana that he had seen, it had been the ninjas. The katana that was now protruding from her back.

Time seemed seemed to move in slow motion, as she punched the ninja hard enough, he heard the crunch of bones. Then she fell backwards. His body moved on its own as he lunged forward to catch her.

Time sped up, almost to fast forward. He could only remember the next couple of moments in flashes. Ink creatures tearing the remaining ninja apart. Shocked and horrified faces.

The next thing he remembered clearly was her. He was on his knees next her, cradling her. A foreign feeling was bubbling in his throat. A sob escaped his throat. A warm liquid squesed out of his eyes. '_tears'_ he thought. She had that smile in her face again.

"_You shouldn't cry for me, Sai"_

He looked down at her, thinking fast. After all, it wouldn't be right if he accepted what she said, that was just the way they had been lately.

"_I-I'm not, I just hate the rain."_

Her smile widened, as expected, she seemed to have a retort for everything.

"_Your so predictable, Sai, and besides, you shouldn't hate the rain"_

There she went again, contradicting everything that he had read and labeled as correct.

"_Why?" _He asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

She laughed lightly, coughing in the process.

"_Because, rain makes the flowers grow...and..."_

Her voice faded as life left her body. Holding her close, he could almost feel it leave, the warmth, the light that made her, _her._

He openly cried now, and brought her lifeless body closer to him, and uttered the words he should have said oh so long ago.

"_I lov_e you..."

God he was such an idiot back then. He cursed himself again and again. Her voice rang threw his head, stopping the flood of curses immedeatly.

"_Even though...Even though sometimes, the memories can hurt, there are more that can heal...maybe you have forgotten, but...no matter what has happened, you should always remember"_

"R-Right, always remember... I-I will, I promise." He whispered into the rain. God, how he hated it, but it never stopped him from coming to visit the grey stone that seemed to mock him.

He jerked as the rain seemed to echo with her laughter.

"_Heehee, I told you before, you shouldn't hate the rain, cause rain makes the flowers grow..."_

He could hear her almost as if she was standing next to him. He spun around to see if anyone was playing a trick on him. No one was there, but he swore he heard her.

He heard her giggle.

"_You always were just a little thick"_

**'Thick?' **

Then he got it.

"Oh..." he mumbled.

And turned his face back to the rain. This time he welcomed the feel of droplets on his skin.

He had read that people always seemed to cry in the rain. But, what about the people who laughed in the rain?

For the first time since her death, he smiled. He smiled for her, because she couldn't smile for those who were still there.

From then on, he visited the grave every opportunity he had. He would buy flowers and draw pictures for her, and he would sit in front of that grey stone and talk softly, almost to himself.

And whenever in rained he would turn his face to the sky and pretend that she was standing there right beside him. And sometimes, if he turned quickly, or if he looked hard enough, he could almost see her, standing there, waiting for him.

Once, after he was leaving, an old man saw him go. It wasn't unusual to see the young man around. He looked at the grave and shook his head. It was a shame really, that the young wasted so much of their time on the past. Ah-well, kids will be kids I guess.

On the surface of that lovingly polished grey rock, one name stood out among the cherry blossoms carved there.

_Haruno Sakura_

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Okay there you go ppls, now if you'd be so kind as to review, I would appreciate it. Also, I take requests for one-shots and story pairings, so just let me know if theres a pairing you want me to try, just about anything is free game, just no incest okay? and I have problems writting Lee fics, they just dont work for me. non-cannon pairings are what I do best, so make it good, kay?


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